An UNEXPECTED little blessing...

Nick and I have know that there are more little ones that are waiting to come to join our family. We tried for a long 2 years on and off with kaylin and then 2 1/2 more years of trying until we were blessed again with kiptin, along with a little one we miscarried in the mix of all that. Having a little baby join our family is no small task for us, its hard on us as a couple and really hard on me being the mom and thinking "is there something wrong with me" and "am i really that bad that i shouldn't be blessed with any (more) kids" and so on and so on.
Kiptin is now 2 1/2 years old, we started to try for #2 when kaylin had just turned a year old, so the last couple years nick and i have gone back and forth on when to start trying and asking ourselves "what if it take a really long time again" but we just knew that the fiance's were nothing like they were when we had the other two and really thought it would be wise to wait til things were better with work and cash flow. so we really have been trying NOT to get pregnant until we both felt like it was the right time.

Kaylins birthday was crazy and such a busy week with lots to plan and make but for some reason one morning i woke up and just grabbed a test i had and peed on the sick (TMI i know, sorry), i thought to myself "why did i just do that, im not late or anything, we aren't trying, nor do we really want to be pregnant right now" i set the test down and just thought it was dumb that i even did that, i looked over and had to take a second look because the first time i thought i really saw two pink lines, and YUP TWO PINK LINES is what i saw again the second time!!!! my first thought was "holy crap are you serious", and then "nick is not going to be happy about this" and then "THREE KIDS", and then "this is wrong" so i grabbed the last test i had and repeated the process and sure enough right away TWO PINK LINES showed right up.... I cried a little, a bit of both happy and sad tears because I have a hard time some days with two kids and now mixing another in there is just hard to wrap my head around and not to mention we were "waiting" because of work and moola.

I didn't know how i was going to tell nick and I really wanted kaylins week to be fun and not give nick an added stress rolling around in the back of his mind on top of all we were doing that week. Then i thought i would tell nick on his birthday or on our anniversary but the thought of him being a little mad came back to me and I didn't want those days to be ruined for him either (don't ask me why i thought he would be so mad, but for some reason i just figured he wouldn't be too happy about it) so the day after kaylins birthday i decided i would tell him and he could get over it before his birthday and our anniversary week.

I gave each of the boys one of the test and told them to take it down to daddy. Kaylin said "what is this" i said "i don't know just something dad needs to see so take it to him" (i know i kinda lied but i didn't want to tell kaylin just yet) kiptin was just all happy and hopped down the stairs as fast as his little legs would take him and he handed it to nick first, he looked at it and said "whats this" me looking at him with a dumb face said "what does it look like" he said "is this a pregnancy test" "why did you take a test and give it to me" .....DUH NICK WHY DO YOU THINK I GAVE IT TO YOU! he said "what does it mean" i just laughed a little because some times come on men are just not too smart. I said well i wouldn't give it to you if it didn't mean something, he said "your pregnant????" I just shook my head yes and stared at him.

he said really and blah blah blah...he then said i need to go and buy another test and "make sure" those ones weren't flukes...hahah lol i just laughed.
I went to the store and bought another box with a line test and a digital test and brought them home and stood in front of him, showed him the "plus" sign test and he then said "how do you know its really positive, i cant tell" again, really! the test shows how it should look for both positive and negative a + and a - both which are pretty clear!!! then he said "i just like the digital ones cause they say the word" so i took that test and it blinked for a few minutes and he said "see maybe your not, this one doesn't know what to say" and right after that is popped up "PREGNANT" and he said " shoot, well that one is pretty clear"

He is just so funny sometimes!
All in all after a few days of it sinking in, we are excited but very worried and until i hit the 2nd trimester i think i will just be a ball of worrying mess. I hope the baby is healthy and everything goes ok for me and her/him! praying for our little girl but we know what ever is suppose to come to our family is going to come and we welcome either and we know this is just a blessing for us and we welcome it!

Yesterday August 2, we got to hear this baby's cute little heart beat and made reality really hit us, it was exciting to hear and makes us more excited. all is going well so far and i hope this baby is just healthy, (and a girl!) but either would be great.

A new adventure has started!