Fishing Fun....

Summer is here so let the fun begin...

We wanted to go up to the "lake on the hill" to swim a bit...but it turned into a fun fishing day for you and dad and kippy.
We brought a net you guy could catch some fish, not thinking you would actually catch any that way...BUT to our surprise you guys caught 6!!
Not only did you catch some using the net but dad also caught about 3 with his bare hands!!! You were so happy!! you helped dad clean them and then we cooked some up and tried them, you and dad liked them but mom...not so much!
I loved seeing how happy you were out there having fun and how excited you where to catch them with out a pole!!!

Hello Two Wheels...

Your a bike rider now!!!
You learned to ride on two wheels...goodbye training wheels...hello big boy club!!
You where so determined to learn to right without training wheels so that you could join all the big boys on their bike and do jumps just like kaylin.
We are so proud of you! even when it was hard and you fell you still got back up and tried again...there may have been a few fits when you fell up you still got up and tried again, and again....and again!!!

Nap time masterpiece...

Oh khailo, I sure love you. I love everything about you, but today I found one thing I really don't enjoy that you found rather funny.  you were taking a nap and I wanted to take a quick shower while I had a free second before you woke up, as I was about to step in the shower and heard you playing in your bed so I knew I had to be fast.  I was like 10 min and then I came in to get you. I opened the door and you were standing up and laughed "haha" and I looked down and there was your diaper. On the ground. With poop in it. Then I see you and your bed and ....holy crap is all I could say! Here is the fun masterpiece you made for us today...

Just what I needed....

I was looking on the internet for something fun for dad and I to get out and do together when I happened to click a link that took me to this message this lady found and wrote...it is EXACTLY what I have been feeling like this past while.  It of course brought tears to my eyes as it states perfectly what has been going through my head. I am grateful for these little things that pop up when you need to hear them, just at the right time!

she wrote:
(And I kid you not this has happened to me ....its as if I actually wrote it...word for word)

This week my husband walks in the door after a long day at work to find: dishes piled in the sink, laundry all over the living room, the beef for dinner still in a frozen block, and me…looking like Frump Queen. He is gracious. And tells me to take a nap. I instantly obey. (Inwardly rejoicing.) And while I am sleeping for 45 minutes, he manages to clean the whole house…while watching our daughter. (A feat I clearly was incapable of accomplishing today. Many days.)

One part of my feels grateful the house is clean. I can relax now, right? But the other (bigger) part of me feels guilty and defeated. He just worked the whole day at his job, and then came home and did mine, too. Isn’t this why I am staying home? 

Every day I have this desire to accomplish something. But every day it feels I accomplishnothing. I try to clean something, but I don’t finish. I want to do a house project, make my space more beautiful, but all those gorgeous pics on Pinterest look like something from another world. Not mine. I leave to buy something, but roam aimlessly around in the store. Nothing to bring home. I try to write, but this little person cries for all of my attention when I sit at the computer. I clip coupons and price match, and still go way over on our budget. Agh. At the end of the day, there’s nothing to show for the last 9 hours of exhausting effort. Of doing what? 

When it feels I didn’t accomplish Super Tidy Housewife, or Spiritual Sage, or Fun Mommy, or Adoring Wife, or Betty Crocker, or the Likeable Friend…when I’m none of those titles, and all the opposites..

I have to wonder: “Am I enough?“

I lay my head on the kitchen table, cheek against wood, and cry. I want my days to be ofworth. But feel like they are all so: Unsuccessful.

As I lay, frozen, I hear a whisper, my daughter’s whisper:

Dear Momma,

Do you remember the nights you cried on the bathroom floor in the dark? When the pregnancy tests sat negative in the trash can? Remember when my nursery was just a storage room? A place for you and Daddy to throw your junk? Remember how you longed to brush my hair with your fingers, to sing me lullabies, to hold me close? And now I’m here. 

Am I enough?

When there’s dishes in the sink, and your skinny jeans sag from all the bending, and dinner’s ingredients still sit on the shelves of the supermarket, because your days are full, full of me. Am I worth your attention? Am I an accomplishment?

Am I enough?

You kept me safe today Momma, you kept me alive. You kept me fed, and rested. You played with me, and made me laugh. Does that count Momma? Am I one of your goals Momma? Just to be together? Even if no one sees it? Or knows it?

Am I enough?

Tell me Momma, did you think I’d be different? Did you hope I’d be different? Do you see me? I’m right here Momma, the answer to your sobbing prayers. But now that I’m here, is there something else you want Momma, to feel good? Do I make your day count Momma?

Am I enough?

And suddenly, the voice changes. My heart wrenches. The Spirit of God begins to whisper, making the table under my wet cheek feel more like the chest of God. And suddenly I know He’s near.

Do you remember when I said, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me?” (Matt. 25:40) “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward?” (Matt. 10:42) Do you not see it here Child? 

All these days you live at home to serve this fragile girl, what you really are doing is serving Me. For whatever you do unto her, you do unto Me. So let me ask you:

Am I enough?

What is My worth to you? In the secret places, where no one sees? Look deeper Dear One.

Can you find Me in this place? In her face?

Every diaper, every clean, dry pair of clothes,

cups of water, Cheerios, all the laughter, every tear,

each soothing whisper in her ear.

In doing so, you so clothe Me, feed Me, hear My cry,

soothe Me with your lullaby.

If all you do is spend your days, your self, on Me..

Am I enough?