Sweet 16

 Our first baby boy had his “Sweet 16” !! Kaylin is and has always been such an amazing boy! His heart is bigger then Texas, he’s my baby forever… I can’t believe I’ve been his mom for 16 years, it sounds long and yet that time seems so short. I’d give a lot to have my little tiny guy back, I’d love the chance at a redo for so many things. He’s our first and he gets a lot but also is the one we rely on and the one we probably mess up the most with. I wish you could feel for just a moment the amount of love I (and dad) have for you, there are nor never will be words to describe it. 

I messed up and still do with you bud, I make so many mistakes just trying to make the right decisions. I want the world for you, I want a big amazing life for you, I want happiness and love for you, I want your brothers to always look up to you… karbon is definitely your best buddy, he loves you. Kip & khai love you but you guys are in the stage of sibling fighting, but you all have so much love for each other and I know you’ll all be best friends later in life.  I wish I could go back and never become distant from you, you were my everything, you’re the only of the boys that was my only love without sharing/multiplying my heart,  for 3.5 years you were my one and only and I couldn’t have loved anything more. You were my sidekick and never left my side… ever. 3.5 years I had you all to my self.  

Once we had Kip and then khai you started to slip away and I didn’t notice until it was too late, you were strong and not needy but it was the wrong decision for me think you were fine… I wasn’t there like I should have been, like I would have been if I knew you needed more. 

I need you. I want to be one of the important parts of your life and I suck at figuring out how to make that happen. It can’t be too late. 

I look at you and I’m proud of you and the person your becoming, you will be a great blessing to so many! 

Your my forever blessing! I prayed so so hard for you!! 

I can’t believe your at driving age, it’s crazy. You’ve driven off a few times and my heart just balls up in my throat because I want to protect you at all times and I have to just say a prayer that you’ll come back home safe to me each time you leave! 

I messed up on your birthday morning, I let hurt and sad emotions ruin your day, I truly hate myself for that. I burst out in anger even though it’s pain. It was painful watching you have no emotion while we sang to you, it’s been a really hard year with you full of so much pain and regret… I want to wrap my arms around you and you give me your “bear hug” like you use too. My heart misses my baby so dang much. 

Dad and I bought you a sweet car, we hope you love it. Dodge Challenger! We want to make you happy but not only with physical items, we want to make your heart happy too! We want your love your unconditional love! We may have made same mistakes kaylin, but please don’t hold those against us, we don’t have a direction manual to raise you but we hope you’ll know we always are trying to make the right decision and 

a mother's love is so strong

Don’t feel sorry for or fear for your kids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be.

God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they’re in. Their life wasn’t a coincidence or an accident.

Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God.

Train them up in the authority of His Word.

Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control.

Empower them to know they can change the world.

Don’t teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it.

Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God’s sovereign plan.

He knew Daniel could handle the lions den. 

He knew David could handle Goliath.

He knew Esther could handle Haman.

He knew Peter could handle persecution.

He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in their life. He created them specifically for it!

Don’t be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose YOU to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime.

Rise up to the challenge.

Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers and Peters!

God isn’t scratching His head wondering what He’s going to do with this mess of a world.

He has an army He’s raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth.

Don’t let your fear steal the greatness God placed in them. I know it’s hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this.

~Alex Cravens

CAMPING...2021

This summer was supposed to be FULL of camping trips ...but, like always plans change.... "plans were made to be changed" 

but we have had some fun ones.

mostly I just love leaving our little business behind for a few days of some R & R up in the fresh mountain air! 

Time never stands still...

When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting....the struggles of a baby waking in the night, 

the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports...

Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches....

You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning....and try to soak in the  magic of those moments. 

You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames...and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love...no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes. 

Life is just so busy that you rarely even  stop to think what the end of those days look like. 

In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around. 

You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time....

Then suddenly hours turn into days...days into months...and months into years.

That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons...suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go. 

And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home....gets filled with silence and solitude. 

You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them....but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.

So you hold on as tight as you can...wondering how time passed so quickly...feeling guilty that you missed something....

Because even though you had 20 years.....it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.

You ask yourself so many questions...

Did you teach them the right lessons? 

Did you read them enough books as a child? 

Spend enough time playing with them? 

How many school parties did you have to miss? 

Do they really know how much you love them? 

What could I have done better as a parent? 

.....When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

And all you can do is pray....hope....and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life....that at times leaves you exhilarated....while others leave you heartbroken. 

But one thing is certain.....it’s never enough time...💕

So for all the parents with young children...whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness...

Exhausted day in and day out...

Soak. It. All. In. 

Because one day....all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners...

All come to an end. 

And you’re left hoping that you did enough  right, so that when they spread their wings....

They’ll fly...💕💕💕

4:30 am temple wake up call...

This morning I (mom) woke up EARLY 4:30 AM to take this kid to do his first baptism for the dead, before he had to go to school.

it was early but kip was SO excited. Being able to go to the temple is hard to do now days since Covid-19 has us on strict scheduling rules at the temple still. we have to sign up for an appointment online and those go FAST .... so 4:30 am is what was available! 

it's neat to watch your children go to God's holy place, the only place on earth where you enter and fill like you left the world behind ❤

he had the best smile on his face and said he really loved it! 

I missed being there with kaylin for his first time, so im grateful I was able to take kiptin!

always make good choices my boy, treat others with kindness and forgiveness and stay close to our Heavenly Father...he will guide and protect you throughout your life! 

❤ mom

it's official...

Kaylin past his driving test and officially is on his way to a driver's license!!

he drives with parents for the next year and then we will officially have a extra driver in the house.

it's such a strange phase of life... we are old enough to have a child driving??? nick and I met at 14 and 15 ...and now... we have a son who is that age. I dont feel like we are that old.. but tis is the reality lol.

good luck my baby boy... I love you more then life it self, there literally are no words I can use to describe this love I have for you.... be safe always!

HAPPY 18th ANNIVERSARY to us!

VERY very low key... actually didn't do anything but try to go up the "c" trail look out to watch the sunset ...made it for the last 3 min of the sun setting.

tried to get a smoothie but that was closed... anniversaries on Sunday just suck.

we hope to celebrate next week. 

a current picture of us... some wedding pics... and some gifts I pretended to buy but really just screenshotted them instead 😁😂

happy 36th....I mean 37th birthday to my hubs!

I missed posting in your actual birthday, I try hard to get all the events posted on the right days but failed at this one... but hey it's only 2 days late!

This year was FUNNY... we totally thought your turned 36🤣🤣... I put 36 on your cake and posted on Facebook about your 36th.... all to find out at the end of the day you actually turned 37 😂😂😂. #winners obviously we are to the age we don't even know how old we are any more.

we were up in duck creek camping so you got pancakes, burrito and your favorite little Debbie cakes!

we got home and went out for dinner and came home to some cheese cake...which said 36 🤣... I had to post a 7 over the 6 on the pictures. it was awesome.

you got your loved PS5 and a mini dji drone! 

hope your day was good!

we love you! 

Spartan race in utah

First Spartan Race for 2021 in the books!

i love my amazing hubs that does all the adventures with me! we fished the utah nationals course yesterday July 18.. its a hard up hills course... snow basin ski resort, black Dimond runs.

we finished 7.25 miles and 25+ obstacles in 3 hours 22 min.

this is our 4th race done! 

we have 2 more for the year!

yay to life's adventures with my amazing man!